Sloan: So, umm... I was looking through your blog the other day and... There's not enough of *me* in it...

Cairo: Maybe you should be more interesting...

Sloan: Maybe I should.

Mollen: Hey, remember that mini tea set I gave you for your birthday?

Me: Ya...

Mollen: I found another part...

Me: Cool.

Mollen: Sloan said that you would give it back to me if I asked...

Me: Do you want it back?

Mollen: Yeah :D

Me: nice.

Sloan: Do you know what your problem is?

Me: (Mock offence) Do you know what YOUR problem is?

Sloan: Yes. I'm a procrastinator. But do you know what your problem is?

I had just crawled into bed at 10:45, when my phone buzzes... it is my mother.

"You still up?"

"Just going to bed... I had some school to finish up..."

"Oh... come to my room... I want to show you something funny."

I go into my parents room... My dad is sleeping, Gage is sprawled out on the floor sleeping and my mom is on her iphone... She turns the screen to me, and shows a picture with the caption, "The awkward moment when your friends fat arm makes you look naked in the group photo."
Guess what the picture was? You guessed it... Someone who's not naked, but looks naked. But its actually just someone's fat arm.

We start giggling, when all of a sudden, the bear rouses out of his slumber, "What's going on?!!"

"Mom told me to come here so she could show me a picture of a naked person."

"She wasn't naked! That's why the picture is so funny!"

"Are you kidding me? It's bed time! We have a busy day tomorrow! Get to bed!"

I go back to my room and text my mom, "Nice going."

"you didn't have to laugh so hard."

"You didn't have to laugh so hard."

"Touche. night."

Driving to the store:

Dad: So what are you trying to make?

Me: A treat with white chocolate and crushed candy canes.

Dad: What does it look like?

Me: It looks like crushed up candy canes and white chocolate.

Dad: So what do we need from the store?

Me: White chocolate. And candy canes.

'its' a 'she'

"Who do we know that's having a baby that we can pray for? We can pray for Auntie Stephanie, Carey, Ronda, Lisa... Any one else?"

Mom: I know someone else who is having a baby but its a secret so I can't tell you yet. But - I know that you will be very excited when I can tell you.

Peyton: Do they go to our church?

Mom: Not telling.

Charter: Are they related to us?

Mom: Not telling.

Peyton: ITS YOU!!! ITS YOU MOM!!!!

Mom: No. Its not me. I'm not telling you.

Sloan: When can you tell us?

Mom: I don't know... She said 'soon'.

Mollen: ITS A SHEEEEE!!!! YOU SAID SHE!!! I  KNOW ITS A GIRL!!! WOOHOO! I FIGURED IT OUT! ITS A SHE!!!

Mom: Yes, it is a she. Good job, Mollen.

Love is...

Recently, my dads cousin got married. At the wedding reception, they had little cards that you could write on. One card said, "Love is..." another said "Always..." and the third one said, "A little advice...".
We (Me, my sisters and cousins) were all trying to think of something funny and witty to write on any one of the cards (By the way, we came up with, "Love is... ... Sobbing all the way through your wedding ceremony" because Scott, the groom, did just that.)

My dad comes up behind us, "You should write, "Love is... ... learning how to courtesy flush"

"Nice dad. Yeah, if you think that's a good one, you should write it..."

Dad, "I can't. I don't know how to spell 'courtesy'."

Nice.