C.S. Lewis

Are you ever moved just by listening to someone talk about something that inspires them?

Yeah, that's how I felt when I read the preface to "George Macdonald" by C.S. Lewis. Maybe you'll enjoy it, too :)


"Most myths were made in prehistoric times, and, I suppose, not consciously made by individuals at all. but every now and then there accurs in the modern world a genius - a Kafka or a Novalis - who can make such a story. MacDonald is the greatest genius of this kind whom I know. But I do not know how to classify such genius. To call it literary genius seems unsatisfactory since it can coexist with great inferiority in the art of words - nay, since its connection with words at all turns out merely external and, in a sense, accidental. Nor can it be fitted into any of the other arts. It begins to look as if there were an art, or a gift, which criticism has largely ignored. It may even be one of the greated arts; for it produces works which give us (at the first meeting) as much delight and (on prolonged accuaintance) as much wisdom and strength as the greatest poets.
It is in some ways more akin to music than poetry - or at least to most poetry. It goes beyond the expression of things we have already felt. It arrouses in us sensations we have never had before, never anticipated having, as though we had broken out of our normal mode of conciousness and "possessed joys not promised to our birth." It gets under our skin, hits us at a deeper level than our thoughts or even our passions, troubles oldest certainties till all questions are reopened, and in general shocks us more fully awake than we are for most of our lives."


Am I the only one that finds that amazing? I can't even describe why... It just kind of 'hits me'...  And makes me want to read more George Macdonald...

I am Yours

Here I am before You
falling in love and seeking Your truth
knowing that Your perfect grace
has brought me to this place.

Because of You I freely live,
My life to You oh, God, I give
So I stand before You, God
I lift my voice cause you set me free.

So I shout out Your name,
from the rooftops I proclaim
That I am Yours. I am Yours.


I am His.

And not in the "I go to church, so I'm a Christian!" kind of way, either.

I PERSONALLY belong to Him! He has claimed me, and made me His own.

How sweet is THAT?

At Tehillah, we sang the above song, and one line kind of struck me.

"All that I am, I place into Your loving hands, and I am Yours."

And at first, I kind of thought, "Didn't God like, create the whole world, including me? Soo, doesn't He already have 'all that I am' ? What do I have to give?"

But sometimes we (I) try to live our lives by ourselves. Do you ever feel like you're holding back from God, cause you're scared of what might happen if you let Him take over completely, even for a minute? Scared of how He might move you in ways you've never been moved before? Cause who KNOWS what might happen, then!
So we hold on for dear life, not giving up that tiny thread of control.

When really, God already has us. He's just waiting for us to WILLINGLY take everything that we are, and place it in His hands. His what hands? His loving hands.

Then what is there to be scared of?

Nothing.

So I'll shout out Your name, from the rooftops I proclaim, I AM YOURS.
And all that I am, I place into Your loving hands, and I AM YOURS.

Living Loved

Ok, before we start, let me go over something.

I'm a perfectionist. That's why I couldn't blog before. Cause then I'd mess up one post, I wouldn't have my thoughts fully formed and I'd say the wrong thing, I'd miss a day...

This is a huge stretch for me to be writing all this out right now. Like, HUGE.

So, yeah... I might post something half formed, something that I need to come back and write about again a week or two later. But that's harder for me than writing a perfect post the first time. So, in the spirit of "letting go", lets go ahead and do this anyway. Fully formed thoughts or not. Enjoy :)

---------------

"Let love explode and bring the dead to life. Love so bold to see a revolution, somehow."

So, where DOES my 'backwards depression' come from?

I believe it comes from the realization and the knowledge of how much I'm loved. Honestly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ltP0Wh3GEQ

^ this video is great. I love how simple he makes it sound.

All negative feelings can be traced to a disbelief that you are loved by God.

And that, my friends, is the root of this deep happiness, this joy, that I am experiencing. I've come to know the extent of His love.

"He loves like a hurricane, I am a tree - bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy."

I have many other thoughts running through my head, so many other things I want to expand on. And I will. Eventually. This post is the starting point for the rest. I'm writing about 5 posts simultaneously right now. ;)

But I think this is the root of it all. His love found me, and I realized how big it is. And it exploded, and brought me to life. Because, like the song I posted yesterday. This is what He does, He makes me come alive :)

Woot woot!

By the way, yes, all of my posts will include song lyrics. ;)

Did you miss me?!

I'm thinking of coming back. But different.

Why?

First of all, I'm a different person than I was in June. Something happened over the summer, and continued to happen over the fall, and now, entering November, it hasn't quit happening.

And I'm loving it.

So, how does this affect my blog? Before, it was mostly just quotes and stories about my siblings. Have they stopped being hilarious and giving me stuff to write about?
I can assure you, that is definitely not the case!

I came across this quote (C.S. Lewis), and I quite enjoy it. I think it sums up a bit of my transformation:

"There is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious. It is too good to waste on jokes.”

What what?

It's a deeper happiness, joy, than I think I've ever felt. Until now.

I told my mom the other day, when ranting about how I hate the amount of depression going on in our world, "But I feel like I'm experiencing the opposite of depression."

"And why is that?"

Well. LONG story.

I don't want to bore you, since its my first day back. So, I'll leave you with this:

Until tomorrow, my friends :)

Sloan: Albus Severus Potter. You are named after two head masters of hogwarts. One of them was a sytherin, and he was the bravest man I ever met.

Cairo: That's my favourite part! You know what? All Harry Potter aside, I think Albus is a cool name. Don't you?

Charter: Yeah! You should name your kid that! And then when he learns to talk, you can teach him to say, "Thank you, thank you very much."

Cairo: What?

Sloan: I think she said 'Albus'... Not 'Elvis'...

Charter: ....

Charter: Sloan, what were you and Cai just talking about?

Sloan: Well, I guess you should listen better!

Charter: What's 'shrimp and vader'?

Sloan: Charter, come on.

Charter: No! Seriously! Mom! What's 'shrimp and vader'?

Mom: She said, "You should listen better."

Charter: What's 'shrimpabetter'?

And he wasn't kidding.

mom: What is gluet2 ?

Me: Umm, what?

Mom: Exactly. Its on the shopping list, but I have no idea what it is!

Peyton: That's Mollen's handwriting... I did tell her to put glue on the list... Wow, she can't spell...

Mom: Yeah, coming from someone who's spelling skills are awesome! (Sarcasm!)

Sloan: Yeah! FYI: WANT is spelled W-A-N-T. WON'T is spelled W-O-T- apostrophe - T. Wait. What?